Mayonnaise

Re: (The or A) World of Mayonnaise (or TVA loses an argument to his nine-year-old daughter). The work of the book goes on, and the joy of it comes and goes, with the subject playing quietly in my subconscious. Last night, at dinner with my two girls, S. complained that her turkey sandwich oozed mayonnaise each time she took a bite. Being the prepackaged, preformed father that my parents created, I accepted that remark as an opportunity for the “be grateful for what you have” speech expressed by my parents as the “there are children starving in (country’s name, typically China, but not always).” My version started out as this, “That’s not such a bad problem to have: there are some children living in a world without mayonnaise…” at which point S. raised her hand up to me to stop me and interjected, “There’s only one world. The world has mayonnaise. It’s right here.” pointing to the hand holding her sandwich with her other hand. The matter-of-fact way she said it with absolute certainty almost made me laugh out loud but I just smiled very broadly, knowing that if I laughed it would have hurt her feelings. So, instead of an hour long conversation about literal and figurative speech, objective and subjective philosophical viewpoints and a dissection of the Empiricist’s experience framing knowledge, I opted for the equally true “That’s right honey, there’s only one world.” I thought that was just as important a point to reinforce. She is a wickedly smart little thing and I can’t wait until a couple of years from now when we can have that entire conversation. You know what, kids need that world of absolutes to rattle around in until they outgrow it. It gives them confidence and that’s more important for them than seeing the world as adults see it, all shadows, nuances and shades of gray. She’ll have plenty of time in that world. I guarantee we’ll have that conversation in the future because I also think it’s important for kids not to think their Dad’s an idiot who thinks the world doesn’t have mayonnaise…in the literal sense. All the Best, TVA.

Ps: Little known fact: if Wayne Gretsky hadn’t be such a great hockey player he might have been remembered as one of Canada’s greatest skiers. Really, that could still happen…Just trying to be supportive