RE: Apple. So, you really want me to be the 55th annalist covering Apple? Oh, I get it, you’re just trying to make conversation. I’ve got this cousin in Texas who works for Apple in some non-descript fashion (he seemed to be sworn to secrecy-my understanding is they all are) and he came to our family reunion in Tucson a few years ago with a hot-off-the-line iphone. Well, you know how the Apple-ites are, and about thirty seconds after I set eyes on him, he’s showing me his phone (for like an hour, seriously.) The conversation went like this: “How’s the family?” “Good, I’ve got all my picture here and I can sort them by date or subject!” “I hear you went to Europe.” “Yeah, Amsterdam, it’s got a compass!” for like an hour, seriously. Toward the end, he asked me what generation Mac I had and I told him I was a windows man, always had been, and still had a flip phone. The shock on his face was indescribable, so to console him, I offered, “You know what it is, I’m afraid to love. I allow myself to stay trapped in these imperfect relationships because if I had a relationship like you have with your phone and it ended, I don’t know what I would do.” (Other relatives starting to laugh.) “I’m happy for you and I hope it lasts forever.” (All other relatives laughing fully.) “Perhaps, someday I’ll be ready to put myself out there-like you have and then maybe I’ll know that happiness…” Just as the laughter died down, he said, slowly, in that deep Texas drawl, “You know what, F--- ALL Y’ALL!” and the room went up again. I’ve tried using that phrase without the drawl and it just doesn’t work. There should be an app for that, the Non-Believer App. All the Best, TVA PS. I was gratified to hear of the dinosaur dung that was sliced and polished in Utah. That same cousin said you couldn’t polish one. They really need more things to do in Utah.
